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法律英語 |
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| 波士頓法律第二季第十三集臺(tái)詞Boston legal |
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出處：法律顧問網(wǎng)·涉外www.coinwram.com
時(shí)間：2011/1/2 23:49:00 |
1
Boston Legal
Too Much Information
Season 2, Episode 13
Written by David E. Kelley
2005 David E. Kelly Productions. All Rights Reserved.
Broadcast: January 24, 2006
Transcribed by Imamess of JSMP for Boston-Legal.org
Thanks to sueb of JSMP for her help.
In a convenience store the clerk is apprehensive when two young males come in and walk around. They
come up and place two bags of snack food on the counter.
Store clerk: Two dollars even. Thank you. When they turn away to leave Catherine Piper is in front of the
counter. Hello! May I help you ma’m?
Catherine Piper: Yes, you may, dear. She pulls a gun out of her purse and points it at the clerk.
Store clerk: Whoa!
Catherine Piper: Take all the money out of the drawer and put it in a bag please.
Store clerk: Yes.
Catherine Piper: Oh! And put some of that delicious beef jerky in there too.
Catherine looks up and sees a security camera high up on the wall. At first she is startled and then she
smiles for the camera.
Outside Catherine is sitting in police cruiser. A taxi comes up and Alan Shore gets out.
Officer Lawrence Michaels: Mr Shore? She said to call you.
Alan Shore: Thank you, Lawrence.
Alan looks in the window. Catherine smiles tentatively at him. He gets in the car with her and gives her a
look.
Catherine Piper: In a way I suppose this is all your fault.
Alan Shore: Oh dear God How, Catherine? How is it that you holding up a convenience store suddenly becomes
my fault?
Catherine Piper: You said you would hire me as your personal assistant after the firm fired me. I took you at your
lying word. Bad! Catherine, bad! She slaps her hand.
Alan Shore: It was a terrible thing to forget and I’m sorry. But you’re in a lot of trouble here!
Catherine Piper: What else was I to do? A gal’s gotta eat! And robbery isn’t as bad as killing a man. And you got
me off on that!
Alan Shore: And you’ve done wonders with our second chance. Stay here. He gets out and walks into the
convenience store. Good evening. I understand you recently suffered a robbery?
Store clerk: You a lawyer?
Alan Shore: Actually I’m here more as a friend to the befuddled old woman who…
Store clerk: Robbed me! Do you know how many times I’ve been held up this year?
Alan Shore: Far too many for you to appreciate her little prank I’m sure. May I ask if that’s your car out front? The
Datsun with the dents in the side?
Store clerk: Yeah.
Alan Shore: I have a friend who has a friend, he’s a magician with body work. He’ll make those dents disappear,
change the color, he’ll make that Datsun exactly like a late-model BMW.
Store clerk: Can he make the seats look like leather?
Alan Shore: The man’s a miracle worker.
Alan is talking to Officer Michaels out on the street.
Officer Lawrence Michaels: We got a problem. Another sector car called it in. I don’t have any choice. I gotta
book her.
Alan Shore: It’s late. She’s elderly. Couldn’t we at least defer the arrest?
Officer Lawrence Michaels: Uh, uh.
Alan Shore: Lawrence. Please.
Officer Lawrence Michaels: You owe me.
Alan Shore: Thank you. You won’t regret this.
Catherine Piper: She pokes her head out of the car. Excuse me, officer? Can I get my gun back please?
2
Alan is in his office at cps. He picks up the phone.
Alan Shore: When A.D.A. Raines gets back have her call me immediately.
Voice on the phone: Yes, sir.
Alan Shore: Thank you.
Denise Bauer comes in.
Denise Bauer: Could I borrow you for a minute? They’re walking down the stairs. Opposing counsel has made an
offer, I’m trying to get these people to take it. I’m hoping that you can explain to them that this is as good as it
gets.
Alan Shore: Do I get a hint?
Denise Bauer: It involves invasion of privacy. A woman, Jacqui Hayden, access was gained to her personal
medical records.
Alan Shore: Invasion of privacy. There’s an increasingly familiar tune these days.
Denise Bauer: This is little worse than your typical case of someone being denied a job because of a preexisting
condition.
Alan Shore: How much worse?
Alan, Denise, Irma Levine, and Emily Hayden are in Denise’s office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Emily Hayden: He never beat me. Just my mother. I finally got out when I was sixteen.
Irma Levine: A few years later Emily’s mom, Jacqui, came to us at the Woman’s Shelter. She was a mess.
Emily Hayden: They promised my dad would never find her there.
Denise Bauer: For obvious reasons the name, phone number and location of the shelter are kept confidential.
Irma Levine: We put Emily’s mom in touch with a psychiatrist for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Denise Bauer: The cost of which was covered…
Irma Levine: Under her HMO.
Denise Bauer: Unfortunately the HMO, Well Benefits, posted Jacqui’s information including the name and
address of her psychiatrist on their website. Emily’s father found Jacqui’s psychiatrist via the Well Benefits
website and tracked her down at the psychiatrist’s office.
Emily Hayden: That’s where he killed her.
Alan Shore: So this is a wrongful death action? And Well Benefits has offered you a settlement?
Denise Bauer: Twenty thousand. No admission of liability.
Alan Shore: Regarding the settlement I have to agree. Emily is disappointed.
Denise Bauer: Thank you, Alan.
Alan Shore: Not with you. To Emily. With you. The offer is insulting. These people need to be taught a lesson.
Irma smiles and squeezes Emily’s arm.
Denise Bauer: Would you excuse us one moment?
Denise and Alan are out in the hallway. Denise closes the office door.
Denise Bauer: Twenty thousand? That’s a lot of money for nineteen-year-old girl. I brought you in to make this go
away.
Alan Shore: I won’t do that.
Denise Bauer: What happened to Jacqui Hayden was a nightmare. But to blame the HMO? There was a
supervening act! Technically Well Benefits didn’t break the law.
Alan Shore: But there was a foreseeable danger. There are consequences in this case, dire consequences to
putting someone’s most personal information on the internet. Well Benefits should have known that. I say we
clobber them over the head with it.
Denise Bauer: This is why people don’t ask your opinion a lot.
Alan Shore: Most likely.
Stan is in the lunchroom tending his sandwich cart.
Stan: Lorraine, ham and provolone on a baggett.
Beverly Bridge: She comes up. Uh, do you have anything without bread?
Stan: These are sandwiches. They have bread.
Beverly Bridge: Well, there’s a thing called, Protein Style.
Stan: Well if they don’t have bread, then they’re not a sandwich and I only do sandwiches.
Beverly Bridge: Do you know who I am? Brad comes up behind Bev. I’m Denny Cranes’ fiancé.
Stan: Yeah? So? Bev turns and leaves. Hey Mr Chase! Roast beef and havarti!
Catherine walks down the hallway at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. She goes into the Alan’s office.
Catherine Piper: Ahem, hem, hem.
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Alan Shore: Catherine? What are you doing here? I just tried to reach you at your house.
Catherine Piper: I was in the neighborhood. I wanted to see if was any news on my case.
Alan Shore: There isn’t. I put in a call to the D.A.’s office. I have yet to hear back. Now. About your finances.
Catherine Piper: Oh! We can talk finances and trial strategy. Ah, can we use osteoporosis as a defense?
Alan Shore: Do you have it?
Catherine Piper: Ha, no! But I have a little pillow I can put under my shirt.
Alan Shore: We’ll keep that in our arsenal. So. Catherine…
Catherine Piper: Do you wanna talk more now? I was gonna catch up with the girls in word processing.
Alan Shore: Oh. Okay. Why don’t you do that?
Catherine Piper: But don’t worry! I’ll be here. I’ve cleared my schedule. This gets top priority.
Alan Shore: As it should. Given you’re facing twenty-five to life.
Denny Crane is his office. He is having his nails done. Shirley Schmidt comes in.
Shirley Schmidt: What happened to the sandwich guy?
Denny Crane: Ahh, Bev fired him.
Shirley Schmidt: Bev doesn’t work here.
Denny Crane: Well, then I fired him.
Shirley Schmidt: I thought we agreed you wouldn’t fire anyone after you let Vickie Dantchi go?
Denny Crane: She wasn’t pulling her weight.
Shirley Schmidt: She was a client.
Denny Crane: Let me tell you something, Shirley. You know why this firm is going into the dumper?
Shirley Schmidt: Our profits were up five percent last quarter.
Denny Crane: People are being coddled. Bunch of lay abouts… He pulls his hand back from the manicurist.
Ah! Be careful with the cuticle, Ming.
Shirley Schmidt: Denny? It’s starting.
Denny Crane: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Shirley Schmidt: Bev. She’s following a similar pattern to your five previous wives. It starts with her firing the
sandwich guy, and ends with her influencing policy at this firm and it will not be tolerated.
Denny Crane: Now, Shirley we both know what this is all about.
Shirley Schmidt: No, we do not both know what this is about! It’s not about me being jealous of Bev. It’s about
getting the sandwich guy back!
Denny Crane: Oh! Alright. Geez ,if I’d know it was such a big deal. I’ll talk to Bev.
Ming: Happy ending, Mr Crane?
Denny Crane: Well, not today, Ming. I’m engaged now.
Denise is in her office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt making a phone call.
Telephone operator: Willsely Memorial Ontcology.
Denise Bauer: Room four, one, seven, five.
Telephone operator: There’s a phone block on that room.
Denise Bauer: Could you help me out here? I’m, his uhm, girlfriend.
Telephone operator: Hold one second please.
Laura Buckingham: Hello, Ms Bauer. This is Laura Buckingham, Mr Post’s personal assistant.
Denise Bauer: Oh, thank God! How’s the chemo going?
Laura Buckinham: He’s indisposed at the moment. But he wanted me to personally assure you, he is well. And
he’ll phone you in a few days following his treatment.
Denise Bauer: Ah, could you tell, Mr Post, that uhm, tell him I uhm, I’m thinking of him.
Laura Buckinham: I will.
Alan Shore: He looks around the door. They’re here.
Denise Bauer: Let’s go.
Alan, Denise, Emily, Irma and Attorney Adam Jovanka, Tom Orchard are in the conference room at Crane,
Poole and Schmidt.
Tom Orchard: Rejected?! You’ve gotta be kidding!
Alan Shore: No, I’m much funnier when I’m kidding.
Tom Orchard: To his attorney. I thought this was worked out.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: Looking to Denise. I thought so too.
Denise Bauer: After further consideration we decided that the offer was inadequate.
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Tom Orchard: Oh! What a bunch of crap! Young lady, I don’t know what nonsense these lawyers have been
telling you about HMO’s and their deep pockets.
Alan Shore: Please direct your unfounded arrogance at me.
Tom Orchard: Okay. Fine! You two are just trying to make an issue when there is no issue!
Alan Shore: No issue? I’m sorry. Did this young woman’s mother suddenly spring back to life?
Tom Orchard: Her father killed her mother and we are all upset about that. But it was not our fault! However, to
make this go away we were willing to give her a gift of twenty thousand dollars.
Alan Shore: Well, as a gift that’s very sweet of you. We’ll put it in the den next to the armoire. However, as
compensation that you owe Emily Hayden because your negligence lead to he mother being brutally murdered?
Your offer is offensive. Even more offensive than your tone.
Tom Orchard: We’re done!
Attorney Adam Jovanka: The law is on our side, Mr Shore. Tragedies happen every day.
Alan Shore: Yes! And you’re about to experience one firsthand. See you in court.
The attorney and his client leave.
Alan Shore: To Denise. Aren’t you glad you brought me on board?
In Judge Nora Lang’s courtroom. Denise is cross examining Ned Hayden.
Denise Bauer: Mr Hayden. Is it true you stabbed your wife with a kitchen knife?
Ned Hayden: Yes.
Denise Bauer: You hunted her down?
Ned Hayden: Yes.
Denise Bauer: You lay in wait?
Ned Hayden: Yes.
Denise Bauer: And finally, after you both exchanged words you pulled the knife out and stabbed her seven times
in the chest?
Ned Hayden: Yes.
Denise Bauer: Before you killed Emily’s mother, Jacqui, she was living in Renew, a battered women’s shelter?
Ned Hayden: That was my understanding.
Denise Bauer: A shelter the location of which was kept confidential?
Ned Hayden: As far as I knew.
Denise Bauer: Could you tell us how you came to learn of Jacqui’s whereabouts’?
Ned Hayden: By computer.
Denise Bauer: Specifically?
Ned Hayden: I logged on to Well Benefit’s website.
Denise Bauer: Jacqui’s HMO?
Ned Hayden: I had her social security number and her date of birth. That’s all I needed to access the records.
Denise Bauer: And what did you find?
Ned Hayden: Her explanation of benefits. It had on it what she was being treated for, the location of her doctor
and what her co-pay was. I noticed she was seeing the same shrink every Monday, so I went and waited for her
outside his office..
Alan, Denise, Irma and Emily are in a room at the courthouse. Emily is gasping for air. She’s taking deep,
shaky breaths. Alan is sitting in front of her.
Alan Shore: Emily. Emily! She looks at him. The good was we just made a strong opening impression with the
jury. The bad was you just had to listen to testimony about how your father killed your mother. That’s something
nobody should ever have to experience. Here’s what you should know about lawyers. I could have sat you down
and prepared you for this testimony so as to brace you. I chose not to. No tears for the plaintiff, no tears for the
jury, less money. But, Emily, we don’t have to keep going here. If you feel it’s…
Emily Hayden: I wanna keep going.
Alan Shore: You’re sure?
Emily Hayden: Yes!
Alan Shore: Okay. But if you don’t care to be in the courtroom…
Emily Hayden: I wanna be there.
Alan Shore: From this point on it’s not entirely necessar…
Emily Hayden: I wanna be there. I want you to get him! And I wanna see you get him!
Alan Shore: Get who, Emily? We’re suing a company.
Catherine is in the outer office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt talking to one of the secretary’s at a desk.
5
Catherine Piper: So I heard Lynette’s cyst didn’t go away and they’re going to have to lance it. All that, and her
sa… Denny Crane walks by. Hello, Denny! Denny stops. Do you still remember who I am? Or did I leak out
your whiffle ball brain? He, he.
Denny Crane: He walks off and meets Alan coming up. Now her, I know we fired!
Catherine Piper: Alan? Any news with the case?
Alan Shore: Yes.
Catherine Piper: Well, make it quick because I’m having lunch with Judy. He husband’s… she makes a drinking
motion… again.
Alan Shore: Well, I have good news. The grocery clerk was too busy driving around in his plush new ride to press
charges, and the D.A. won’t prosecute without a complaining witness.
Catherine Piper: What does that mean?
Alan Shore: Your case is dismissed. You’re free and clear.
Catherine Piper: Really?
Alan Shore: Catherine, this is good news. There are only two ‘get out of jail free’ cards in the game and you’ve
used them both up.
Catherine Piper: I did. Didn’t I?
Alan Shore: Yes, you did. Catherine, I want you to have this. He hands her a check.
Catherine Piper: Three thousand dollars? I hope you’re not expecting sex for this?
Alan Shore: I am not. Consider it back pay.
Catherine Piper: Thank you, Alan.
Alan Shore: We’ll have dinner soon to celebrate.
Denny and Beverly are in Denny’s office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Beverly Bridge: You wanna rehire the sandwich guy?
Denny Crane: Well! It wasn’t that big a deal.
Beverly Bridge: Not a big deal? How would you feel if he raped me? What would you do? Just sweep that under
the rug?
Denny Crane: Oh, come on, Bev. I know the guy upset you but…
Beverly Bridge: You damn right he upset me. He was completely rude. But Denny. I mean, my feelings don’t
matter here. The sandwich guy didn’t disrespect Beverly Bridge. He disrespected the fiancé of Denny Crane. He
disrespected you.
Denny Crane: The son of a bitch!
Denny marches down the hallway at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Brad, Shirley and Paul are in the
conference room.
Brad Chase: If you turn to page fifty-six, appendix B.
Denny Crane: He comes in. Ah, sorry, folks. Talked it over with Bev. The sandwich guy? Still out. He leaves.
Shirley Schmidt: Okay. We need to deal with this now.
Paul Lewiston: We need to deal with the sandwich guy instead of the multi-million dollar Blake merger?
Shirley Schmidt: No. Bev’s influence on Denny.
Paul Lewiston: Believe me that’s next on my agenda.
Shirley Schmidt: Bev fired the sandwich guy, I went to Denny, he talked to Bev and the sandwich guy is still fired.
Paul Lewiston: He sighs and bangs his hands on the table. It’s Angie all over again.
Shirley Schmidt: Or Marcia.
Paul Lewiston: Or Clovis.
Shirley Schmidt: From what I’ve seen Bev is much more formidable than any of the previous Mrs Cranes.
Paul Lewiston: If she gets Denny to take his name off the door people will think the firm’s in trouble.
Shirley Schmidt: Clients will stampede out of here.
Brad Chase: I have an idea. I realize I haven’t been partner for very long, so let me ask you both. How much
discretion would I have to make this Bev problem go away?
Shirley and Paul look at each other then at Brad.
Shirley Schmidt: No chopping off fingers.
Paul Lewiston: No violence of any kind.
Brad Chase: None. I promise.
Shirley Schmidt: Then you have as much discretion as you need.
In Nora Lang’s courtroom Attorney Jovanka is questioning Tom Orchard.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: And so in comparison with other HMO’s Well Benefits would rank where?
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Tom Orchard: Several prominent publications have listed us at the top of our field in terms of customer
satisfaction.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: And in terms of your website? Specifically security?
Tom Orchard: It is considered user friendly, but sound. We meet the accepted business standard for internet
security. If Mr Hayden uses his criminal ingenuity to illegally obtain information, that’s horrible. But it’s what he
chose to do.
Alan Shore: Mr Orchard, according to my records your company generates approximately one point five billion
dollars in revenues each year. Is that right?
Tom Orchard: Approximately.
Alan Shore: Oh! Forgive me Your Honor. Before I begin my cross examination, I meant to congratulate Mr
Orchard, his wife recently gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter.
Tom Orchard: Thank you.
Alan Shore: Eight pounds, fifteen ounces. Healthy? Happy?
Tom Orchard: Thank goodness, yes.
Alan Shore: She was a bit jaundiced when she came out though. Had a little fluid in her lungs which seemed to
be aspirated.
Tom Orchard: Sorry?
Alan Shore: No! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disregard your other children which so often happens with the arrival of
a new one. You have a four-year-old and a ten-year-old?
Attorney Adam Jovanka: Your Honor!
Alan Shore: Your Honor I just thought Mr Orchard would like to know his ten year old, Carly likes Max Babcock.
Though Max doesn’t know if he likes her back. At least that’s what I ascertain from the chat room.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: Objection!
Alan Shore: All this objecting! Mr Jovanka, you seem in such a nasty mood. Could it be the new Lexus you
ordered on line from a broker has been delayed? Gosh I hope you’re not forced to keep driving that Sudan with a
dent in ti from your recent fender-bender.
Judge Nora Lang: Mr Shore!
Alan Shore: Yes Your Honor. By the way you need to renew your car registration. But congratulations on
colonoscopy.
Judge Nora Lang: Mr Shore!!
Alan Shore: Too personal? This is just information I was able to obtain from websites which employ the business
standard for internet security. That is what you called it, Mr Orchard. Correct?
Tom Orchard: Correct.
Alan Shore: Here’s what I don’t understand. You’re a billion dollar company, you’re in the business of ensuring
the health and well-being of your clientele and yet you weren’t able to ensure the safety of their records. What
you could have done, had you spent just a fraction of those billions on internet security.
Alan Shore: Mr Shore, as we all know, health care costs have spun out of control. Information technology is the
single largest cost for us and for all other Fortune 1000 companies. If we had upgraded to a more secure system,
more people would have had to do without health care.
Alan Shore: And yet, fewer would have been murdered.
Brad and Beverly are having drinks in a restaurant.
Beverly Bridge: To the waiter. Thank you. To Brad. To Denny Crane. They touch their glasses. Now Brad?
Did you really ask me here on business? Or are you trying to do a little move in on Denny Crane’s girl?
Brad Chase: Just business. I’m here to talk about you and Denny.
Beverly Bridge: Well, we’re very much in love. If anything changes though, I’ll let you know.
Brad Chase: Well, as you know Denny’s been married several times and each time it’s ended in divorce, and
each divorce has been traumatic and ultimately costly for Denny and Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Beverly Bridge: Don’t worry about it, Brad. I’m sure I’m going to sign any prenup that Denny wants me to.
Brad Chase: This isn’t about a prenup. This is about avoiding the turmoil of marriage and divorce altogether.
Beverly Bridge: You lost me.
Brad Chase: I’ll make it simple. I’m prepared to give you five hundred thousand dollars right now if you walk away
and never have any contact with Denny Crane ever again. A pause. Save us a lot of money, time and grief. A
pause. But I want you to know that we’ll aggressively fight to keep you from exercising any control over Denny or
the firm.
Beverly Bridge: She leans forward and grabs Brads tie. I’m gonna tell you two things. First. I love Denny Crane
with all my heart, and I will never leave him. Not for all the money in the world. And second. In a moment, you’re
going to pour your glass of wine all over yourself.
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She lets the tie go, gets up and leaves. Brad watches her. Smoke rises. His tie is on fire! He jumps up and
spills his glass of wine all over himself.
Brad Chase: Ugh! Crap!!
Denise is in her office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Alan comes in.
Alan Shore: Hello.
Denise Bauer: Hi!
Alan Shore: I always feel slightly sick to my stomach when I work alone in the office late at night.
Denise Bauer: I thought you liked being alone.
Alan Shore: I love being alone. I just prefer to be alone when there’s other people around. So how are you doing?
Denise Bauer: Fine.
Alan Shore: I have a Rabbi friend with a small gambling problem who, when he hears someone say they’re fine,
he always asks again until they say something other than fine. So? How are you doing?
Denise Bauer: I’m seeing someone who’s dying of lung cancer. And while he is a very wealthy man he can’t buy
his way out of the secondary cancers the treatment for the first cancers are causing. Here’s the kicker, Daniel,
has completely shut me out of his life. So now I just wait.
Alan Shore: A pause. He gets up. Walks to the door, then turns. Denise. I don’t know you very well. However
you don’t strike me as the type of woman who just waits. For anything.
In a grocery store a male clerk is watching a basketball game on television.
Catherine Piper: Ahem, hem, hem.
Clerk: He looks to Catherine, then back to the TV. May I help you?
Catherine Piper: I’d like to buy some ear plugs please.
Clerk: He passes her a bottle. Two, oh three.
Catherine pays for the plugs, then puts them in her ears. The clerk turns to the TV. Catherine takes a gun
out of her purse. The clerk doesn’t see her, so she shoots at a large keg of juice on the counter. The clerk
is startled. Catherine motions toward the cash register. The clerk starts filling a bag with money.
Catherine sees the security camera. She smiles and waves at it.
Alan is at the jailhouse. Catherine is sitting in a cell.
Catherine Piper: Oh, I’m in trouble now.
Alan Shore: Yes.
Catherine Piper: What’s with me?
Alan Shore: Indeed.
Catherine Piper: I certainly have a lack of, of impulse control. I must have ADD or OCD. Oh one of those other
letter things. But I don’t want you to think I’m not aware of the hole we’re in. I get it! That’s why I want you to know
I’m willing to roll up my sleeves and, and work with you on this. Maybe we can set up a little office for me at the
firm?
Alan Shore: He nods his head. I’ll be back. He goes to the door. Sir! The door is opened, he turns back to
Catherine. Don’t go anywhere.
In an office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt Brad is sitting on a couch. Contrite. Shirley and Paul are
berating him.
Paul Lewiston: What in the hell were you thinking?
Brad Chase: Well, you both gave me discretion to make it go away?
Shirley Schmidt: But she didn’t go away!
Paul Lewiston: So you made this insane offer. Put the firm at risk for nothing?
Shirley Schmidt: When this gets back to Denny, and it will, he is going to blow sky high.
Paul Lewiston: Now Bev has a chip to play against us.
Brad Chase: Bev turned down the offer that I made her, she was very offended. She uhm, she set my tie on fire.
Shirley Schmidt: Oh God!
Brad Chase: But before she turned me down she hesitated. Just a little bit! But she hesitated.
Paul Lewiston: This is going to get ugly.
Alan, Irma and Emily are in Alan’s office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Emily Hayden: How can I not testify? You said yourself I’m the emotion in the case.
Alan Shore: I’m thinking too much emotion.
Emily Hayden: I, I don’t understand.
8
Alan Shore: Emily, I could put you on the stand. Exhibit your anger and sadness for the jury and they will be
moved. But then the defense has their turn and the’ll exploit those very same emotions taking advantage of your
pain. They’ll argue that your vengeance is truly meant for your father and you refocused it toward Well Benefits.
The deepest pockets you could find. They’ll have the jury convinced it’s a misdirected and therefore, frivolous
lawsuit. And that’s how we’ll lose. I suspect the most difficult thing one could ask of you is, trust. But that’s exactly
what I’m asking for now, Emily. She nods. Let’s get in there.
Irma Levine: Mr Shore? I wish I could get you to come to the shelter. So many of the women there desperately
need legal advice. Someone who’ll speak to them, openly and honestly.
Alan Shore: Are they cute?
Irma Levine: You don’t fool me. You’re a compassionate man.
Alan Shore: We need to get back.
In Judge Nora Lang’s courtroom Attorney Adam Jovanka is giving his closing.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: Ned Hayden killed his wife. He’s serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole.
Justice has been served. Emily Hayden’s loss is immeasurable. But whatever closure she is seeking, she must
find it in her soul. Or through her God. Not through suing Well Benefits. Well Benefits could not reasonable
foresee this killing and did nothing to encourage it. They were in compliance with all State and Federal
regulations regarding internet security. If you find for the plaintiff you are punishing my client for playing by the
rules. And you’re opening a Pandora’s box of lawsuits. Not just against HMO’s, but against all internet
businesses. And who will ultimately end up paying for that? You know. It’s you.
Alan Shore: When I was eleven years old there came a time when the temptation to explore the more secretive
recesses of my older sister’s life became more than I could resist. I started by poking around in her room. I ended
by reading her diary. My defense, she kept it right out in the open her the mattress. And the little metal clasp on it
was simply no match for the paperclip and the screwdriver. I was eventually caught, prompting my sister to have
a lock installed on her door. The only consequence of the invasion of my sister’s privacy was the temporary loss
of her confidence and trust. The invasion of Jacqui Hayden’s privacy led to her being stabbed and left to bleed to
death in the street. Privacy and the safety and security that word has always implied has with time and
technology become an illusion. A National Security agency has access to all our emails the world over with its
echelon system. Virtually every website you visit installs a delicious cookie on to your computer which is in fact a
spy to track you’re every move. There are predators out in cyber space collecting data on your children while they
innocently type away in chat rooms. And that little waiver you’ve signed in the doctor’s office mostly likely allows
physicians to share your information on the internet with insurance companies, the government, your employer
and the courts. Make no mistake; access to your information is easy. All you need is a person’s five digit zip
code, gender and date of birth to uniquely identify eighty-seven percent of the US population. That is how
vulnerable we are. How vulnerable you are. Well Benefits says they could not have possibly foreseen the actions
of an abusive spouse intent on causing his wife harm. Let me tell you what Jacqui Hayden could not foresee.
That after years of cruel and violent debasement at the hands of her husband, after she finally found her way out
of the shadows she didn’t foresee that the people she most trusted with her health and well-being would lead the
darkness right back to her door. And now she’s dead. Well Benefits made it easy for Ned Hayden to find his wife.
As easy as looking under a mattress.
In Judge Nora Lang’s courtroom. She hand’s the verdict back to the clerk, who takes it to the foreperson.
Judge Nora Lang: Madame foreperson? You’ve reached a verdict?
Foreperson: She stands. We have, Your Honor.
Judge Nora Lang; What say you?
Foreperson: We the jury find in favor of the plaintiff and award compensatory damages in the amount of nine
hundred and fifty thousand dollars and punitive damages in the amount of two million dollars.
Attorney Adam Jovanka: Your Honor, we move for a judgment not withstanding the verdict. Or in the alternative,
a new trial.
Judge Nora Lang; Motion denied. The jury is dismissed. We are adjourned.
Emily Hayden: Thank you. Thank you, Mr Shore.
Alan Shore: You’re welcome. They shake hands.
Irma Levine: I knew you could win this, Mr Shore.
Alan Shore: Well, that’s usually the safe bet. Tell me. How does a striking Latino woman come by the name Irma
Levine?
Irma Levine: Mmm. Congratulations on winning your case. Thank you. She leaves.
Denise Bauer: Great work.
Alan Shore: Thank you. I have to go see the D.A. about Catherine. Are you heading somewhere? Or just waiting?
9
Denise Bauer: No. I’m definitely not waiting.
A.D.A. Holly Raines’s walks into her office. She is followed by Alan.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: Let her go? What are you? High?
Alan Shore: Not yet.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: She already murdered a man!
Alan Shore: For which the jury found her innocent.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: And now she’s on a crime spree.
Alan Shore: Twice in the same convenience store hardly makes a spree.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: Then what would you call her? An active senior?
Alan Shore: No. I would call her a sad and lonely old woman. A woman who spent many years living in solitude
with nothing to occupy her wit and intellect. Then one day she became my assistant. And, suddenly she was in
an environment equal to the task of entertaining and stimulating her magnificent mind.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: Then she should have taken up crocheting. Not felony robbery.
Alan Shore: Granted. But for Catherine this was not about malice, nor financial gain or thrill seeking. It was about
getting my attention. And she got it. Her reign of terror is over. I promise.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: She pleads guilty to misdemeanor possession of a firearm? I’ll recommend probation. No jail
time.
Alan Shore: Thank you, Ms Raines.
He gets up to leave.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: One thing.
Alan Shore: Yes?
A.D.A. Holly Raines: I do this for you. You do something for me.
Alan Shore: I’m listening.
A.D.A. Holly Raines: Get me an interview at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Alan doesn’t reply. Let’s just say being
District attorney isn’t entertaining and stimulating my magnificent mind. Just get me in the door; I’ll get the job
myself. And you’ll get Catherine Piper back.
Alan Shore: He nods. I’ll see what I can do.
Daniel Post is sitting in his hospital bed, reading. Denise knocks on the door and comes in.
Denise Bauer: She holds up a jar with a ribbon tied around it. These are for you. Dill pickles. They’re
supposed to alter the metallic taste sensation from the chemo therapy and make your regular food taste better.
Daniel Post: Well, that is the nicest chemo gift I have ever gotten.
Denise Bauer: She closes the door. This may not be the best time to discuss this but you’re weak and I’m
strong. You don’t get to set all the rules in this relationship. Your whole life you have used money to set the rules
and now you’re using your illness.
Daniel Post: I figure I should be able to. He points to his chest. I have a bum lung.
Denise Bauer: I know. I know. But it wasn’t right for you to shut me out like that.
Daniel Post: You’re right. I’m sorry. But if you hit me or anything? I might literally die.
Denise places her purse on the table, removes the paper from Daniel’s lap.
Denise Bauer: Scoot. She climbs into the bed next to him. They cuddle.
Alan and Catherine are eating in a restaurant.
Alan Shore: I’ve been thinking a good deal about my offer to hire you as my personal assistant. I’ve come to the
conclusion, Catherine, that I am a terrible boss.
Catherine Piper: Oh, no, dear, I don’t think so.
Alan Shore: My point is I’ve found you a job, a better job.
Catherine Piper: I don’t know.
Alan Shore: The pay is comparable. It’s a startup company, they need someone with imagination and experience.
A real people person. I immediately thought of you.
Catherine Piper: Dental?
Alan Shore: I’m sure something can be worked out.
Catherine Piper: So what would I be doing?
Catherine is coming off the elevator at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. She is pushing a sandwich cart.
Catherine Piper: Pesto chicken!! Veggie wraps!! Roast beef on ciabatta. Come and get it. I have fruit and hard
boiled eggs and stuff, but I’ve got Bundt Cake. Okay! What are you having? That's $4 for that. Thank you very
10
much! Only a sandwich? Don't you want something sweet? I've got sweet buns. Oh, no! Oh, that's silly. All right,
and what will you have?
From afar Alan watches Catherine tending her cart.
Paul Lewiston: He comes up. So? You’re in the sandwich business now?
Alan Shore: A silent investor.
Catherine Piper: Thank you very much. Oh, yes. I have so much money, I'm throwing it away.
Denny is out on the balcony. Alan joins him.
Alan Shore: There you are. Hardly seen you this episode.
Denny Crane: It saddens me. Tough case?
Alan Shore: Yes. Lack of privacy on the internet is complicated and overwhelming.
Denny Crane: Doesn't scare me. My life's an open book.
Alan Shore: So you wouldn't mind if someone tapped a few keys and discovered you have ‘mad cow’?
Denny Crane: I don't care. I tell everybody I meet anyway.
Alan Shore: Ever looked yourself up on the internet?
Denny Crane: I have! Denny Crane, legal genius. What about you?
Alan Shore: No. I don't wanna know me.
Denny Crane: I know you. You're not so bad.
Alan Shore: So, I met this girl.
Denny Crane: You did?
Alan Shore: Irma Levine. She gives me a bit of trouble!
Denny Crane: Take her to my wedding.
Alan Shore: We just met.
Denny Crane: Bev and I just met. We're the ones getting married!
Alan Shore: You are, aren't you?
Denny Crane: Yes, I am.
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